10.18.2006 (Wednesday), 07:27 AM

The Fix

...but I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can...

Heroin scares me. No, not because of the OD possibility. Or the physical dependencies. Or the withdrawl symptoms.

No, it scares me because IF I ever tried it I would probably like it SO much that I'd never want to stop. The warm rush, the nodding, the not caring about anyone and anything, the bliss of the narcotic pillow and on and on. The previous descriptions provided by a nice couple of junkies who lived nearby when I lived in San Francisco many years ago. They were functional to an extent and really nice people...dunno what happened to them though...

Every single time I heard the Velvet's "Heroin" (or any number of Lou Reed solo renditions) I think of how the temptation of the drug flies to the front of my mind. The song structure itself sounds like the description of the rush: slowish, apathetic, then faster-faster-faster, then slow down. I live vicariously through that song everytime I hear it:

"Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really dont care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just dont care
And I guess I just dont know
And I guess I just dont know"

The last line kind of sums it all up for many more things than this.

Posted by wjc | TrackBack