04.19.2004 (Monday), 11:16 PM

Cellphone Pussies

gasp, violence in the work-out place!

What the FUCK could be so important to prompt you to bring your cellphone into the gym? No, not just into to the lobby of the gym but into the locker room, on the treadmill and down in the weight room.

We shipped our product yesterday (yay!) and I decided to slack a bit and leave an hour early (hoo-boy, let me tell you the stiffie I got when I did that bit of workplace disobedience!) and take an early workout. 5K in 34:21 today BTW...

As I walk into the gym, three people on their cell phone. Into the locker room, one guy standing in *my* spot talking loudly about stuff that should be talked about in private about some business dealings. Note to all Oracle project managers: Mr. Man is after your ASS so you'd better start setting the buildings on fire. Call Larry and alert the media.

OK, suited up, got the iPod ready to rock, er, J-Pop (more on that later) and onto a fun bit o' pain. Halfway through (I think, I was trying not to watch mileage and/or time), the guy next to me (typical San Jose-jock-type, probably had a ginormous 4-wheeler and/or muscle-car Camaro) stops his < ahem > work-out to chat on his phone. Damn, I forgot to bring it - I left the 2x4 in my gym bag. It would have been a scream to Barry Bonds his cellphone and bits of his head back into the stairsteppers...

Apparently his phone call was important enough to make him go away, so fine. Finish up, stretch a bit, and it's 6 pm on the nose. Cool. Hit the showers. Big, somewhat chiseled burly man changing into his clothes at the entrance. No phone. Phew. The moment he buttons the last button on his shirt though...out comes the phone. And HIS conversation is so important that he PUTS THE GUY ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE ON SPEAKER (!!!!!!!!!) so we can all enjoy the scintillating banter. Screeeeech!

A quick glance around shows up at least three more cellphone pussies exercising their wireless-connectivity equivalent of BCSD (big car, small dick) for all to see. So I undress, grab my towel and soap and my cellphone. I drop towel and cellphone (in THAT order) in the middle of all of these pricks and proceed to stomp my cellphone into little bitty pieces. Best shower I've had in a long time.

Posted by wjc