05.24.2003 (Saturday), 10:22 AM

Save The Canadian Goths...Please.

There's panic in the world...

OK, this is getting ridiculous. The number of flakes in the world is all of a sudden surprising to me. (I don't know why that I have *just* discovered this but indulge me for a sec...)

Twice now I have been burned by someone on eBay bidding for an item that I'm selling. The first guy just out and out BAILED. OK, so he lived in Paraguay and wanted me to ship to a Florida address which was probably a drug-laundering operation. For all I know, Daniel Vera (please, the tempatation to put his email address here is very, very strong) was taken out by a drug cartel for being a disloyal, product-gobbling "employee" or an asshole. Probably both.

Problem is...Mr. Vera never responded and the 30 day limit to re-list for FREE was expired. So I paid again.

Enter buyer number two. I should have known better than to sell to someone from CANADA. And a goth-guy at that. So "Mr. Rust" (his clever moniker) wins, says "where do I send the money" and we're off. I've got the item ready to ship sans address (just in case...glad I did *that*) and then...no money.

"Where's the fooooking ducats", says I, to the Canuck Goth. "Oh, I just moved and the movers lost all of my Skinny Puppy CDs so I won't be able to pay you", Mr. Pasty-White-Faced-Hockey-Playing-Back-Bacon-Eating-All-Black-Dressing-Skinny-Puppy-
Listening-Motherless-Fuck-Weasel, says.

WHAT THE FUCK? Your SKINNY PUPPY CDs are lost. Fucking ALERT THE MEDIA right now. In fact, Canada needs to invade Iran in order to restore order from this world-shattering event. We're doing it to save all of the Candaian Goths from having their Skinny Puppy CDs nicked by thieves. And think of all those long-suffering Canadian Goths in Iran. We're going to LIBERATE them! We must do this to restore world order. Oh, and that guy on eBay who is out a couple of hundred dollars? Oh, he's just collateral damage and he'll have to get over it....

Alright, I give up. The item is relisted and I'm ready for another round of hide the CAAASH from me. It's what I live for. Really.

Posted by wjc