05.15.2002 (Wednesday), 11:50 PM

Fat Fuck

I may have to buy coffee every morning...

I stopped at $tarbucks this morning for a coffee (lots of cream, no sugar) and some fat fuck (ok, I'm not that svelte but this guy was truly a fat fuck) decided that he'd block the parking lane with his car. I walked up as he got out of his car and he was the lowest form of semi-yuppie, full-on computer geek, Izod-shirt wearing fuck yakking on his cellphone.

As I'm standing on line, I hear a crash from outside. Mr. Fat Fuck had set his fat ass down in a chair and it collapsed under his enormous girth. He went back into the freshly planted planter and flopped around like a beached whale for about 30 seconds as he struggled to hoist his carcass onto its feet. GodDAMN that was funny. I was going to ask him to move his car just to be a total dick but seeing the chair crushed flat was satisfaction enough.

Speaking of dicks, have you seen the management team lately. I want my fucking money.

Posted by wjc