01.08.2002 (Tuesday), 12:18 AM

In Who We Trust

My grandmother passed away last night...we weren't that close but there's now an empty space in this room...rest in peace, Hilda Christman

"Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu" say: "ah-kay maash tay oh meh deh toh go zai mas"

OK, now that you have spoken Japanese, Happy New Year to you too.
It has been far too long bewteen entries but let me explain. I work for a startup company and we had a hellacious milestone to meet in late December. That meant that my life was put on hold starting on December 9th. We work hard that's for sure but some say that you need to balance, balance, balance. Fuck that.

Our livelihood (not to mention company) is quite on the line this time. We either make it or not. We're all trusting in one another to make it right. Well, 99% of us are and that trust is a fragile thing. (I won't bother mentioning that it may be screwed up anyway by the decisions made by particular arrogant, egotistical and selfish people because that has been (and I'm sure will be) the subject of other stories...or maybe a Dilbert cartoon but I digress...)

Working everyday (Sat and Sun inclusive) for 12-14-16 hours does not leave time for much else except eat-sleep-shower and indeed it killed my ability to write anything at all. I cannot tell you the number of times I sat down to write and NOTHING WOULD COME. Fingers dead, brain on autopilot yet sleepless in spite of several blackout episodes on the sofa. I guess I really shouldn't bitch because everyone who has worked like this probably has had the same experience. But since this is my journal, I get to bitch about it. I had to trust that I would be able to dirty these pages once again...

December 9th to the 21st was intense, it was kind of fun and it was long and sometimes frustrating. Yes, we were successful. We made the right decisions.
Whoopee... So, on the morning of the 22nd, I woke up and quickly realized that I had four hours to do two weeks of stuff. Then, as they say, depression set in.

It has taken nearly three weeks to feel human again. In the meantime, Les came up from LA, I cooked a few dinners, Christmas passed, the n-th annual LankWank took place, we ate Osechi Ryori (look it up), had clam dip and champagne and started working again. So everything's back to normal right?

Yeah, I suppose so. The toilet seal is leaking. Albert had a small seizure tonight. Jan and I had a bit of a row this morning. I'm actually able to write tonight. Brutal is on a different website. Finally. Trust, at least in the home-life, is alive and well.

Yep. Back to normal. My expectations are set to zero. See you next time. Whenever that is.

Posted by wjc